Time is borrowed
Do you have a favorite window? A place where you can glance at the world outside the boundaries of your space?
Or better said, why is it important to sit at the window and stare? Does it make any difference on what is happening inside the place we watch from? Is time passing with the same speed and intensity on the other side?
The moon, for example, always shows me that being in the same room is different from thinking about what it would be like to sit in the same confined area. Or at least think of being in spaces that are not directly isolated from each other.
Still, the glass has a beautiful magnifying property, sometimes deceiving.
Maybe that’s why it’s easier sometimes to see things happening in a distorted way. Nonetheless, it’s all a delicate decision.
I stare.
I used to see other people’s homes in my past “homes”, but all I can see now is how people move. All happening with incredible speed.
Rarely, there’s the same car passing by twice, and it’s even rarer for me to keep the count for everyone who’s passed through my view.
Perhaps it was never their visual characteristics I was interested in anyway but the time they had available to be on their screening through my window.
And it’s not a common thought occurrence to look at strangers and think how much longer will they be spending enough time around for you to notice their presence. And if enough was a measure, then why is it most of the time such a teasing experience?
It’s safe to say that we’re both the one noticing and the one being the stranger at all times during our lifetime.
Asking questions about time, such a wonderful idea to be philosophical about, can be a bit addictive. Not having a single way to conclude an idea keeps you on the run for other sources of validation, and once you’ve given it enough energy you become a bit lost from understanding that there’s also an efficient way to spend the time you have available in your pockets.
Questioning the reasoning behind time and the mechanisms of its wonders, usually, or at least in my case, ends up in the same confusion.
Do I own my time? And if I do, how do I get more of it?
Many movies have been made about the idea of possessing the ability to “own” time and spend it as we ought to. But in the real world, a the realm of little to no control over it, we’re left with the same impression after both the easy and difficult experiences: you can either enjoy not having control over it, or you can learn how to release the.
But as human as we are, the absence of a clear declaration of ownership can feel at most times hopeless and can drive us closer to the edge of desperation.
Because it’s not a daily habit to have the chance to spend 15 minutes talking with a random elderly stranger about how some flowers bloom best when they’re exposed to cold temperatures. Or just enjoy watching as others go on with their lives because we didn’t catch the only bus we were supposed to travel with, and now we have to wait 20 extra minutes while being near a bakery, a train station, and a hair salon, with people whom we might never cross paths again.
It’s rare when we can acknowledge how special each moment can be, but even rarer that these periods of “in-between” last so little.
Despite all the worrying factors and things that seem to be out of our mind’s capacity to comprehend, it’s wonderful we don’t have to think about the amount of time we need in order to complete all of life’s checklists.
And if there was to be a checkpoint where you could have the option to switch all the controls to your side and not let anything else decide when your most important life event will take place and for how long, would you do it?
Because with greater knowledge comes greater responsibility, and if control is what you desire, you will have to accept the other side of the same coin too.
While many difficult moments feel like endless loops of bad consequences from decisions we probably never took by ourselves, experience showed us that just like the good times, the bad ones don’t last either. And what could possibly be more devastating than knowing the exact lengths of your best moments?
Instead, let’s forget about countdown timers.
If every good or bad moment amounts to so much of what it takes to become our most authentic selves, then it would be a great idea to start learning what it takes to live them in the most present way rather than worrying about universal clocks we don’t understand.
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May you walk the trail that fully helps you uncover your purpose, and enjoy the process of soul searching.
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