The traffic lights you have to wait for

Is there a price to pay for everything that exists?

Feelings, experiences, pictures you only take a short glimpse of, thoughts, and ideas of what pure joy. And the subliminal timing of it all? Where do I pay for wanting better things? What about being a better person? I haven’t heard of any POS I could gently get my heart near so I could transfer the currency of love I’ve been trying to gather little by little.

But sometimes all you can wish for is to find a more cost-effective solution to your emotionally draining human tasks.

Everyone is capable of understanding what emotional debt feels like, and how not paying the price at the right time is a terrible idea. The experiences you never chose to fall into, and the price of adding them to your backpack of knowledge, wisdom, and love. And of course, this trade-off comes with benefits for those willing to pay the price. That’s why the future deserves to be emotionally debt-free.

A very promising solution to many complicated problems, but not a fair ratio. Because more often than not, there is a faster way to get where we want, at least physically. And that’s by using ride-sharing services, or your own personal vehicle. Sometimes more cost-effective, sometimes less. Can’t have it all, can’t we? Still, it’s the quiet of the mind when we’re in the car, on our way to the destination. The place that’s waiting for our presence. The strange calm and the soothing moment for us to recover from the never-ending marathon to reach that next destination. That’s why it’s great to know we have an easier solution. As if things could never go wrong whenever we find that life-saving solution.

But wait, things are more likely to go in the wrong direction when we feel like they, won’t.

But on that “casual” ride to our destination, suddenly, as if things couldn’t have been predicted to turn into catastrophic chaos, something goes bad. A random pothole getting fixed during rush hour, someone’s car breaking down in the middle of the road, and even a poorly parked car on the side of the road. Many variables along the route suddenly went on to change the course of our adventure.

A moment to cheer the relentless pursuit of happiness in the never-ending change, some optimists might think. ✨

Or the dreadful struggle to be alive in the midst of a catastrophe that leads to another one, another nihilist could say. 😒

Both affirmations confirm the same narrative: that the “solution” has its own solutions to its own problems even in critical times. The road is about to turn into an entirely new experience. We could encounter even more roadblocks, traffic lights, and detours the driver/ourselves will have to try to avoid for us to reach the destination.

The first red traffic light feels the heaviest, the second one could drive us closer to a state of despair, and the third one might even make us wonder what’s the point of using such “solutions” when they’re not really solving the issue we were promised it could solve. All the little bumps and breaks in the road would, and at some point definitely will generate more frustration and negative emotions, for as long as we don’t look out the window.

Somehow nothing’s changed outside the steel frame of our moving vehicle, even though on the inside many things have already taken place. Maybe we lost our patience, a bit of hope, and a bit of trust in this type of “solution” too. Still, that doesn’t bring much driving force to influence the world outside our car. Once we get off, we’re back into this profoundly difficult and relatively the same world.

So what’s left from this trip?

Can we do it again and be a bit more gentle with ourselves? Or maybe spend a more amount of time studying the new route we’re exploring without further notice?

Can it be undone, and can our hurt be turned into something else?

Answers that can probably be found while the next detour takes place.

(it can’t be undone, yet, we can pay the price [ learn from it ] and turn it into something better next time)

Thank you for reading and supporting The Soul Searching Project. 🙏🏻

May you walk the trail that fully helps you uncover your purpose, and enjoy the process of soul searching.

If you have any feedback or suggestions, feel free to email me at stefanlobont.creator@gmail.com or send me a DM on my Instagram account.

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