Not the right time to focus - Chapter 21

Reading is indeed good for you.

But the screen has its magic that sometimes is working too well.

There was a time when I lost track of light.

It happened when I opened a new text file on my notetaking app to create something dedicated to a version of growth I’d never heard of, and yet, something I was going to give life to.

I called it: “ The High-Performance Artist “, and as you have guessed, it was meant to cover everything. From hopes, fears, brainstorming ideas, lost objects, social media statuses, and so on.

Not the easiest thing to look at, and yet, it was the anatomy of a person I had never thought could exist. But as I got dragged into the process of writing this unbelievably successful story of someone who never existed, my screen turned blank.

Words, images, all were turned to another dimension that I couldn’t reach. They were still on the physical components of my PC, but so unreachable I thought my past and future work was lost entirely.

Now it was time for a different problem.

One I always found to be as dark as my screen when the catastrophe finally happened.

But what could you possibly do when you’re limited by knowledge and technical skills, and you’re thinking of using a magic chemical computer that sits at the top of your whole body?

That’s an easy one. You panic :)

No, wait, this isn’t a life-or-death situation, isn’t it? I thought so.

Electricity was still around me in the form of light bulbs, switches, smart fridges, wifi, and so on. But not in the light-generating systems that were designed to keep me working, that’s when I thought my human design would suffer.

It takes a dedicated situation to point out a specific type of issue, and it takes even more experience and wisdom to understand the underlying messages and meanings of all life challenges we get to go through.

Digital darkness is an uncommon feeling for a generation that had the opportunity to see it rise from the very local network it was at the beginning, to the one that influenced governments, markets, and the whole world.

The quiet of the screen is the most uncommon fear I had to face along with my inability to bring any idea to life anymore. It felt like part of my existence was discarded, like I was unable to access memories that already existed in my brain, and that the promised ease of human connection was entirely gone.

My screen was now a mirror. One that looked nothing like I used to believe, one that couldn’t be manipulated into looking like I wished. Dead pixels, and a dead hope for the future. That’s not what I signed up for when I bought it.

Perhaps that’s the part of identity most of us have embedded within ourselves.

A model of hope that keeps on changing with the algorithms.

And sadly, one that can be turned off with a single power switch.

Thank you for reading and supporting The Soul Searching Project. 🙏🏻

May you walk the trail that fully helps you uncover your purpose, and enjoy the process of soul searching.

If you have any feedback or suggestions, feel free to email me at stefanlobont.creator@gmail.com or send me a DM on my Instagram account.

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