Loneliness and soul-searching through it

The clock is ticking. You’re getting more and more ready for the future.

* Tick, Tack

You’re not sitting in your room. You turn more and more frustrated over the tiny particles of dust that are now lying over the most fashionable clothes you could be wearing on a Friday night. And yet something’s not right.

The mirror tells you to watch out for the smallest details in your movement.

Every subtle smile, the disappointment you could be expressing by blinking too fast, and the awkward position of your hands.

It’s starting to feel like it’s not only in your head now. The critics and worries are real and the only way to find your way to confidence is to have someone’s most honest yet kind opinion about your whole presence in their space.

And then you look at your phone and realize it’s no one there to ask for such a small favor.

Are you going out tonight to have to world change its gravity, and all of a sudden have the most sophisticated poets gravitate their compliments around your ears?

Or maybe it’s the light reflected off the siny eyeballs that are checking out the vibrant and delicate persona you’ve been crafting for years now that made you not want to stay at home tonight?

For artists, it goes even easier as it is to carefully place a paper-made boat on the flowing side of a river and watch it catch a little more speed with every up and down.

And whether it’s about projecting our personality into the world through material things, and art or simply becoming the source of a light-emitting object that captures everyone’s attention, it all comes back to the same feeling.

Wanting to be seen.

This comes out as a very difficult task for many of us who struggled with loneliness from a young age. We’re being pushed more and more toward interacting with algorithms and less with actual people.

Dating apps that are keeping you in the same behavioral patterns, social media platforms that are rewarding the lack of authenticity, and the tech industries that are trying to make more money from attempts to fulfilling our most human needs.

The chemistry of your brain is not lying. The human connection is why we’re all here. Companionship is a must for a happy life.

And whether you find yourself still looking out for genuine connections that seem impossible to find, or you have chosen to dive inward and truly connect with your spirit, you’re on the right track. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

But my way of approaching such times and challenges is not something you wouldn’t have predicted at the beginning of this newsletter.

Consider your loneliest moments very distinct opportunities where you are bound to no toxic connections, no ideas to influence who you are and your development, and most importantly, plenty of available time to find what truly sets your heart on fire.

And if the thought of being on your own while exploring the depths of your passions, developing new hobbies, and finally coming back to your roots is scary, I totally agree with you.

Because it’s not the process of reaching our biggest potential by ourselves that’s the scariest. But reaching those peaks and having no one to celebrate with.

Yet again, if this is such a great opportunity for you, like everything else that takes place in life, it will shape you from the ground up.

And be sure there are plenty of people who want to be around such beings capable of taking up all the space they need for themselves only to focus on being better.

Maybe you’re by yourself now when you just started. But it definitely gets better. And the only way to see that is to keep going.

Have faith in yourself! ✨

May you walk the trail that fully helps you uncover your purpose, and enjoy the process of soul searching.

If you have any feedback or suggestions, feel free to email me at stefanlobont.creator@gmail.com or send me a DM on my Instagram account.

The Soul Searching Project is a storyline-based newsletter that leads the way toward an easier process of self-discovery and development.

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