A broken screen that shouldn’t be fixed - Chapter 19

There is a time when nothing we ever appreciated looks and feels the same. And if things go a bit in our favor, we get dragged more and more into that abyss of hopelessness.

Because there’s an universal truth about the unfortunate events taking place in our lives.

The truth is: all of those dark times will happen, and the worst case scenarios will often come to reality when we least expect them to.

And if being guided by the light at the end of the tunnel is something you’ve been doing, I’ve got even more bad news that you’re probably aware of.

That light won’t always be there, but if walking in the dark is going to help you fulfill your purpose, desires, and dreams, I’m sure you’re going to find a way to see it again, and make it out of the dark side of your path.

I cracked my phone screen a year ago, and since then, I decided to live with it.

I didn’t proceed to do what it’s usually convenient for someone with a high sensitivity level.

I didn’t write poetry about it.

I didn’t trauma-dump the story while going on dates with random people.

There was no point to grieve this inexplicable and yet predictable event.

It didn’t keep me up at night wondering how I even got to that point in my life where the thing I use all the time, that stays in my presence 24/7, is a bit broken and more difficult to use.

It was a relief that it changed, that I changed it in a way you wouldn’t recognize it anymore.

And while this affected my daily course of life, it also changed me to have a better perspective into what’s really great about change and how the underlying messages of the unfortunate events actually do come to surface once we’re ready to receive them.

Such an ideal transformation process, but this rarely happens.

Now, if you’re someone who feeds off the social trends around overwhelmingly positive affirmations and stories, the paragraph from above might sound great.

But if you’d rather question the credibility of that story, you realize that it sounds a bit too good.

Because it does.

The part with “I cracked my phone screen a year ago” is true.

But as you may have guessed, this isn’t a story about phones. We’re not pursuing materialistic ideologies here.

The ideal transformation process where we experience adverse events and our whole lives get turned upside down is a very unrealistic path to consider pursuing in our life-long efforts to be better.

Because as much as we can be rational and develop great decision-making systems, social skills, career upgrades, and so on, we thrive when we’re tuning with our emotional side too.

Sure it’s not easy to have your heart thrown under the bus by the experience you thought would feel the total opposite.

And the duality of the world where the worst and best can co-exist at the same time in the same confined space is part of the reason why we also have such a great capacity to be destroyed and rebuilt.

Feeling doesn’t imply that we give a reason for it.

But that we embody the aspects that are most beautiful or hurtful into our hearts, and once we hold them close enough to make some sense, we can allow them to go back to the world they came from.

And there is no better way to conclude the message I’ve been trying to send with this newsletter than a beautiful quote from a great movie, “Call me by your name”.

It goes:

“
Mr. Perlman: We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!

“

Thank you for reading and supporting The Soul Searching Project. 🙏🏻

May you walk the trail that fully helps you uncover your purpose, and enjoy the process of soul searching.

If you have any feedback or suggestions, feel free to email me at stefanlobont.creator@gmail.com or send me a DM on my Instagram account.

The Soul Searching Project is a storyline-based newsletter that leads the way toward an easier process of self-discovery and development.

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